|
Does your family
find it hard to talk about money matters? Is there agreement
on how to manage the family’s money; that is, how to
save and spend income received after taxes and benefits are
deducted from gross wages? Talking money can be a touchy topic
when members of the household have different values and wants
for saving and spending. Making choices as an individual is
far easier than making choices with a partner and several
family members. Here are some suggestions to establish or
improve the process of talking about money. They are also
a guide to help with various financial tasks every household
must accomplish such as paying bills, using credit, saving,
or sharing:
- Understand your beliefs and motivation
concerning the use of money. You may use money as it relates
to a number of feelings, such as security, self-esteem, status,
success, and power. Everyone in the family should be clear
about what is important to him or her. But there will be a
need to set priorities for the family and for its members.
- Have ground rules. Use conversation
techniques that encourage discussion and reduce negative
comments or conflicts. Use “I” messages when
talking about money. Try to avoid “you” messages
that seem to blame ( “You spend too much on…”).
Putting down other family members or belittling ideas does
not lead to a win/win situation. After hearing the ideas
and feelings, find ways to compromise (“Now how can
we work this out so we are satisfied with the decision?”).
Most families have more ideas on how to spend money than
the household has money coming in.
- Control distractions. Don’t try
to talk with the television or radio on. Use an answering
machine for telephone calls or don’t answer the telephone
during family talks. If the call is important, the person
will try again. Set a specific time weekly for the family
to gather, when everyone is in good humor and has time
to discuss money tasks and issues, as well as other topics.
Sunday evening is often a good time, since weekly activities
don’t interfere with the weekend schedule.
- Listen, listen, listen. Most of us think
more about what we are going to say than about what the
other person is saying. This leads to lots of mistaken assumptions
and the lack of focus on what is being said. Stop disagreements
before they start by restating the comment such as, "I want
to be sure I understand what was said. Is this what you
are saying…?”
- Establish goals. Talk, consider, and
write a list of dreams, necessities, and wants. All family
members should make a list. Talk about individual and family
goals. Decide on trade-offs for needs and wants/ goals.
Prioritize goals by those that can be achieved now and those that can
wait. Check progress frequently and make adjustments to achieve
the most important goals for the well-being of the family.
- Work together. Share responsibility
for various financial tasks such as tracking spending,
paying bills, checking credit reports, reviewing saving/investment
plans, organizing records and documents, and controlling
discretionary spending. These are just a few of the many
tasks for sound financial planning.
- Develop a realistic spending plan. Yes,
it’s a budget but it also promotes planning of household
income for saving and spending. It includes all current
and future goals which the family has identified. Developing
the actual spending plan for income and outgo will take
information, effort, and commitment to the process. Open
communication and talking about finances with all members
of the household are necessary ingredients of financial
planning.
For more information, please contact
Marilyn Furry
Associate Professor, Financial Education Programming
|
